5)
AND
The reason I have paired these two up is that 1) they’re based on the same book by Roald Dahl, and 2) everyone thinks that both are incredibly creepy. While I myself like both of these films, I do agree that these movies are, in fact, quite creepy. I think that most people (myself included) find the Wonka version to be creepier because in the Charlie version, Tim Burton was purposely trying to make it creepy (What else is new?), therefore, you’re expecting the creepiness. In the Wonka version, the creepy factor just comes out of nowhere! In fact, I once read that Dahl himself walked out of the theater even before Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory ended, because he thought it a disgrace to his original vision. Which leads to another argument people have concerning the Wonka version: It wasn’t close enough to the book. Actually, that is something that I have to agree with, however, I have noticed that the Charlie version wasn’t much better in that sense. One problem I had with the former was that Charlie is completely out of character, something that the Nostalgia Critic actually liked. I don’t think that the Nostalgia Critic even read the book. Charlie was supposed to be a perfect saint; that’s what set him apart from all the other children. In the Wonka version, Charlie himself was almost eliminated like the other children because he drank some of the fizzy lifting drink and almost got lacerated by the ceiling fan (although, to be fair, unlike the other children, it was his grandfather’s idea; it’s not like he drank it of his own volition, but still). However, I don’t hate this aspect as much as I did in the past because the entire backstory with the everlasting gobstopper and Mr. Wilkinson disguising as Slugworth, tempting the children to get him one does give Willy Wonka a much more clever reason to award the factory to Charlie outside of the whole “process of elimination” we read about in the book. Also the songs in this one are just golden! The Wonka version is certainly better in the musical department than the Charlie version (although, I am one of those people who is not weirded out by the Willy Wonka theme song; I actually think it’s kind of cute). Like the Nostalgia Critic said, “They’re household tunes”! Even my favorite song, “Pure Imagination”, the song that Willy Wonka sings while he is showing the kids around the Chocolate Room, really gives off a Creation vibe. It gives me a mental picture of God singing while He showed Adam around the Garden of Eden. One more complaint that people have about the Wonka version is what Wonka tells Charlie at the very end of the movie: “Charlie, don’t forget what happened to the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted: He lived happily ever after”. People argue that this quote totally goes against everything that this movie teaches. However, if you do some close reading for this line, you’ll see what he’s actually saying. Notice that he didn’t say, “…the man who grew up getting everything he always wanted”. That’s what happened to the other children, and they got eliminated. Rather, he says, “…the man who suddenly got everything he always wanted”. You see, the man Wonka is referring to is Charlie, and Charlie has just been awarded Wonka’s entire factory! Therefore, I think this was the perfect line to end the movie on!
On the Charlie side, I do agree with everyone else that this one really should have been called Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, as it seems much more focused on Willy Wonka than it is on Charlie himself. Actually, you know what I think this film should have been called? Just Wonka! Here’s why: much like how Wicked and Malenifecent were all just The Wizard of Oz and Sleeping Beauty just told from the villains’ perspectives, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory tells the story of Willy Wonka and how he became who he was. Therefore, maybe people would have liked this movie better if it just had Willy Wonka and had taken Charlie and his “friends” out of the picture all together. As for all of you haters out there who say that Willy Wonka is a freaking pedophile in this one, need I remind you that the other two versions of Willy Wonka (the book version and the Gene Wilder version) acted this way too, and the reason he’s acting like this is to find out who is worthy of his factory? As for how he acts at other times, how would you act if you were alienated from your parents for 20-something years? Also, I really think that the whole “Prodigal Son” vibe right near the end of the film is very well played and not something that you would normally think of when you think about Willy Wonka. Both are outstandingly GOOD movies. Now for which one I like better, the Wonka version or the Charlie version? For now, I’m going to go with the latter, but only because it has <3Johnny Depp<3 in it.
4)
Ok, I know that the majority of you might like this item, but in my high school, there was a majority of students who either were not allowed to watch it, chose not to watch it, or both. That’s saying something because my graduating class wasn’t very big to begin with. How is this possible? One word: witchcraft. Their argument is basically that if witchcraft were not a real thing and that there was no such thing as magic, they probably would like the series, but it is. My argument is that yes, witchcraft does exist, but Harry Potter does not. It’s all computer-generated and people waving metal sticks and yelling nonsensical words. I highly doubt that actual demon worship went into the making. Also, witchcraft is real, but so is love, friendship, courage, and intuition, all those things that the series as a whole teaches. If you only focus on the negative aspect that “Yeah, Harry Potter and his friends are evil and they worship the Devil”, than you’ve completely missed the point of the series entirely. I have actually written some posts and one paper on this kind of thing in college. I’m not saying that watching Harry Potter is right or wrong or that you’re right or wrong; I’m just saying, “Keep an open mind”. Really, the only thing I don’t like about this otherwise GOOD series (besides Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix) is Hermione Granger. I know that J. K. Rowling probably put her in the series to represent the feminist movement, but surely she could have done that without making her out to be, as Professor Snape (my favorite character in the whole series) calls her, “an insufferable little know-it-all”. I just really don’t like this chick! There is smart and then there is condescendingly smart!
3)
In case you haven’t gleaned by now, I am an avid vampire and Johnny Depp fan. In fact, in one of my previous posts, I said that if they ever made a live-action Sesame Street movie, I would want Depp to play <3Count Von Count<3. Anyways, Dark Shadows was a soap-opera that first came out in the 70s and then was made into a full-length movie on the big screen in 2012. For those of you who did not grow up watching this soap-opera, I’ll give you a brief synopsis: A handsome, aristocratic womanizer named Barnabas Collin, living in the 18th century is turned into a vampire by an ex-girlfriend whom he did not know was a witch at the time. After she transforms him, she buries him alive in a coffin. Some people dig him up 200 years into the future, and he spends the rest of the film trying to adapt to his new time period and track down the woman who did this to him. I honestly have no idea why this movie did not go over very well at the box office because this is definitely a very, very GOOD movie! I haven’t even seen the soap-opera version and I guarantee that this newer version is better because it actually makes more references to modern day stuff, which is really where a lot of the humor comes from. There are three short gags that I think are just beautiful: shortly after escaping from his coffin (and draining the poor construction workers of their blood), Barnabas sees the glowing golden arches of (what else?) Mickey-D’s and thinks that he is being attacked by Mephistopheles. After this, he is shown tapping the ground with his cane, remarking that it is “curious terrain”, not realizing that it’s a highway. Then he notices two glowing lights in the distance and thinks that they are the eyes of Satan, coming to drag him down to the underworld, but it’s just the headlights of a car. Those three little jokes and others, as well as the romance, the scare-out-gross-out-freak-out factor, the final showdown and semi-twist ending, and the all-around premise that it has my favorite actor playing my favorite mythological creature just makes this movie one of my favorite Depp movies and possibly one of my favorite movies in general! Even though I’m giving it a GOOD rating, I think even that might be an understatement!
( TANGENT WARNING: Sometimes I have trouble deciding which vampire I have a bigger crush on: Barnabas Collin or Count Von Count. Although, if you really analyze it, we’re not even entirely sure if Count is an actual vampire. For some reason, Sesame Street has just never come out and called him one. Another odd thing I’ve noticed is that Count is one of the only vampires in the media to possess any sort of eyewear: his monocle. Monocles are more prominent among British peeps than among European peeps. Because of this, every time I see Count on Sesame Street, I’m half expecting a British accent to come out of his mouth instead of a Transylvanian one. Whereas, Barnabas was born and raised in Liverpool, England. Wouldn’t it make more sense for him to have a monocle and not Count? If you want to, you can leave in the comments section which vampire would get your vote. But I digress. Moving on to…)
2)
AND
For those of you who don’t know, I’ve already written a review on both of these GOOD films so if you want, you can go read both of them and then come back. Although, fair warning: you may notice that my Son of God review is much shorter than my other reviews. Here’s why: The review for that particular film was written before I started writing movie reviews so it mostly just consists of my overall opinion of the film. On top of that, this was an assignment for my writing class, I misunderstood the rules, and I thought we had a word limit, which we didn’t. If you guys request it, I may do an Old vs. New post with Godspell vs. Son of God. The reason why I’m pairing these two up is because both films have to do with the life and passion of Jesus Christ. The difference is that Son of God takes place in the actual time period that the gospel accounts took place and Godspell is a more modern take, set during the early 70s, and is a musical. About the former, people complained that the actor who played Jesus was way too handsome for his Character and that Jesus and His disciples are more emotional than they needed to be. I’d say that I agree with the former, but not the latter. Every time someone gets emotional, it’s because something sad or tense is going on. The one character that I think was the most out of character was Judas Iscariot (ironically one of the complaints I also have with Godspell, but for different reasons). On the other hand, Godspell contains strange songs, strange dancing, and poor continuity that may distract certain people from the overall story. If anything, you could say that Godspell is almost banking on the fact that you already know the true gospel story. For those of you who are new to the Christian faith, I would suggest watching Son of God first (after you read the actual bible story though) Then you can better understand what the scenes in Godspell represent. Again, go back and read my reviews on both films; they explain everything (or at least my Godspell review does).
And the #1 movie/series that I love but everyone else hates is…
1)
Yeah, especially as a kid, I considered SpongeBob SquarePants a GOOD series, but this show was the absolute bane of my parents’ existence. It got so bad that they banned me from watching this when I was like 8 or 9 years of age. Ironically, they did the exact same thing with the #10 item on this list. Only, this time, it was because some of the characters made terrible role models for children. One character like this is Krusty Krab manager, Mr. Eugene Krabs. Mr. Krabs is greedy, his priorities are all out of order, and he teaches bad morals. For instance, there was this one episode (“Life of Crime”) that taught (or should I say “was supposed to teach) the difference between borrowing and stealing. Mr. Krabs is the one who tells SpongeBob and Patrick that “Oh, it’s not stealing, it’s just borrowing…” (Although, other characters from other shows say it :P). However, that’s only one character out of the whole show, and it’s not like the creators of the show let him get away with what he does, at least in the earlier episodes. There are some episodes where he does get what he deserves in the end (“Krabby Land”, “Jellyfish Hunter”). Also, the few times where Mr. Krabs is actually a nice guy (such as in “Krabby Love” and “Best Day Ever”), it feels very sweet, almost sickeningly so. As for the main character, SpongeBob himself, my parents argue that he is stupid. Well, my argument is that SpongeBob isn’t dumb or stupid; he’s just innocent and trusting, sometimes to a fault. When talking about this show, creator and director Stephen Hillenburg, describes SpongeBob as “an adult character who acts like a child”. Therefore, yeah, SpongeBob may not be pitch-perfect all the time. He is naive, he does make stupid choices once in a while, and he can even be downright bratty at times (especially in the post-movie episodes). That doesn’t mean he’s a stupid kid; it just means he’s a kid. What sets him apart though is that he does learn from his mistakes and try to do better, which is more than I can say about other characters on the show (such as Patrick). He has other admirable traits about him that make him one of the best role models in any children’s television program. He always has a cheerful attitude, he works hard, he is willing to go the extra mile to please others (which actually may or may not be such a good thing), and he even teaches some more complex morals, like showing love and respect to those who don’t always deserve it (such as Squidward, Mr. Krabs, and Plankton). Also, much like my #10 item on the list, these episodes have very simple, if not clique plots (with a few exemptions) that could have been pretty dull if it weren’t for amazing voice-acting and even more amazing comedy. And the messages that they teach (at least the ones that don’t involve Mr. Krabs in the overall plot) are very good messages, This is why I’m placing SpongeBob SquarePants as #1 on my Top 10 Movies/Series That I Love But Everyone Else Hates list.
P.S. I’m sure I’m bound to get some slack for this, but honestly, I don’t really see anything wrong with these newer SpongeBob episodes. Such episodes include “The Splinter”, “One-Course Meal”, and “Good Neighbors”. Regarding “The Splinter”, I am actually one of those people who likes gross-out. Yeah, I was a little shocked when I first watched that episode, but I think it stands up to a GOOD episode; I’m sure there are some kids who dig that kind of thing. Concerning “One-Course Meal”, I really didn’t think anything of it, and I didn’t think anyone else would either, for a couple reasons: 1) The show has made many a suicide joke in the past and it’s not like any of the children watching it are going to understand them. I myself didn’t know about the concept of suicide until I was like 11 or 12 years of age. 2) Even if Plankton had been run over by a passing car or if SpongeBob had gone ahead and stepped on him, we all know he wouldn’t have actually died. We’ve seen episodes like “Walking Small” and even “The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie”, where this sort of thing happened and Plankton survived. Maybe the writers of SpongeBob thought that they were making the same joke. As for “Good Neighbors”, I really think that people are reading too deeply into it. If anything, I think that Squidward is more of the jerk here than SpongeBob and Patrick. Even people who hate this episode can agree that SpongeBob and Patrick love Squidward and just don’t know that their displays of affection are doing him more harm than good. Squidward, on the other hand, totally hates their guts and sets up the security system, not knowing what to expect and therefore is willing to put SpongeBob and Patrick in harm’s way in order to get them out of his way. As for his house turning into the giant robot, 1) I thought that part was actually pretty cool and is one of my favorite parts of the episode, and 2) contrary to what most people would say, I believe that that was just as much Squidward’s fault as it was SpongeBob’s. Yes, it was SpongeBob’s cake that made the security system go haywire, but if Squidward hadn’t set it up in the first place, or at least had read the manual that went with it, it wouldn’t have gone haywire in the first place. Therefore, the punishment that he receives at the end is kind of deserved, if only for his carelessness. Also, SpongeBob and Patrick get the same punishment, so it’s not like they get off scott-free. Even though when looking at these episodes from an analytical perspective, I can see how a lot of people hate them, I don’t really think that the children are going to be bothered by them. After all, they are the show’s main audience.
This is the Turbotastic Asian, and I’m signing out!
theturbotasticasian 